Posted by Bree Olson on March 08, 2014
Gone are the days of finding out what Taylor Swift likes to eat for breakfast or how Lauren Conrad “gets past the haters”. There will be a void on my bookshelf of the stack of 12 Cosmopolitan magazines for the year that reveal a hunk in the bind when they are all placed together in order.
No more “new” sex positions are to be learned and I’m in fear that my future sexual endeavors will suffer. I am also super bummed that the workout section I always read but never applied to my life will not be used when I go to the gym.
I have learned that if my greatest satisfaction after reading a Cosmo magazine is that the mascara ads finally have to put a disclaimer that the eyelashes on the models are indeed falsies and not that long and plush due to the actual product, then it is indeed, time for me to move on.
The excitement that once filled every ounce of me when I’d receive my Cosmo in the mail (about 2 weeks after it hit newsstands) is now met with me forcing myself to read the “Fun, Fearless Confessions” section with resentment in my heart.
I will admit that the “Sexy vs. Skanky” portion was always fun. It is after all, important that we present ourselves as ladies. I would also like to thank Cosmo for telling me all of these years that I am still not married because I am “too intimidating” or “too independent” and not that I could possibly have to work on myself and be a better person, or to stop dating people that I know won’t lead to a happy life.
What I am truly most thankful for Cosmo is your empowerment to women. You telling us to love who we are then showing models that never weigh more than 110 pounds really drives that message home. I don’t know where I would be in my life if you didn’t tell me how to land the perfect guy in every issue. That really took the pressure off.
Cosmo and I have been together for about 10 years. I am now 27 and have simply grown out of the demographic they are targeting.
Some of you may be asking yourselves what I am reading now that I don’t have Cosmopolitan in my life?
Books. I am reading books.